This Ostara and this full moon (this one’s called the Awakening Moon according my book, Life Magic), I’ve been reading a book. it’s the first in a trilogy, called Morrigan’s Cross, by Nora Roberts. One of the main characters is a witch, and some of the ritual described makes me miss the ritual I used to do. I often didn’t have a purpose rather than parents had gone out and I wanted to take the time to feel special. I wanted time for myself, and there’s something about doing things in a magickal circle, where you’ve invited the four corners and the God and Goddess into your circle. It just brings that extra connection.
The two main characters, lovers, are a 12th Century sorcerer and a 21st Century witch. They’re discussing teaching their children magic, and they cast circles together and make magic pretty much daily.
It’s reminded me of how much I used to spend my daydreams making magic with the essence of someone who completed me. The person looked different depending on what TV i’d watched or book i’d read, but that core feeling of being with a soulmate: as I imagined it at 13 years old, always remained. I knew they’d be the one person I could do magic with “just because” and who I felt wouldn’t judge me.
True love is all about compromise. I would never want to force soemone to perform magic.
And tonight, we went out for a meal, and walked back to the car under the full moon. I rarely even see her out of my window. I used to go and look for her, now it’s only if she’s up early, as a moon-shaped cloud at 4pm as I walk home from college, that she ever gets to shine on me.
Tonight, I’m missing her smile, I’m missing my old practises, and even, a little bit, those daydreams of a magickal partner.
Interesting things to miss, for a solitary practisioner, who’d never even let her cat see her perform magic.